Recently I have been faced with an inner battle. I have been at a crossroads with whether to continue on this path I have been working towards or begin my march to a different drum. I've been pushing so hard to succeed in the this industry that somehow along the way I have lost little parts of myself. There are insecurities that I have procured along the way, relationships I have given up and a sense of failure always looming at the back of my mind. Up until a few days ago I really believed that I might be giving up on my dream, but suddenly it all clicked. I've been focusing so hard on "making it" that I didn't realize that I already had. I HAVE made it. I poured my heart and soul into music. My family adopted my dream and did whatever possible to help me to reach it. I left school, embraced the unknown and somehow made my way into the battlefield of entertainment.

Along my journey, I have been blessed with colossal opportunities. I learned so much from my first mentors at Manta Productions.and then from the boys who brought you that genius song "Strong" that changed it all for me, Mark Jackson and Ian Scott. I was able to work under the masterful hand of Mr. Jimmy Iovine and the rest of the team at Interscope Records. They opened my eyes to the glitz and glamor of this amazing industry and helped me discover who I wanted to be as an artist.  I was blessed with the opportunity to work alongside illustrious artists, writers, and producers with so much talent that, even today, it still leaves me speechless. I parted ways with my family at Interscope with two years of amazing music production and a strong network of friends and colleagues. It truly was an incredible time for me and not a day of it goes forgotten.

I have spent the last three years focusing my musical efforts overseas in the amazing country of Japan. I cant thank the Japanese community enough for welcoming me with such open hearts. The biggest thanks goes to my team at Fish and Chips, Kota, Aya and Sam, for hosting me and putting 110% into our project. Thank you to my favorite writer, producer, and friend Matt Wong for your musical genius and for the laughs. Thank you to Starbase and OnePeace, as well as the countless other individuals and teams that worked so diligently to bring my music to the beautiful people of Japan and Asia. I am so honored to have released two albums, had a top 10 single, performed on an MTV stage and heard my song over radio.

I experienced, I learned, I lived my dream for over a decade. I went as far as I could while maintaining my happiness and my sanity, but it has come time for me to bow out gracefully. Music is always with me and I will continue to create and share music with you until my dying day. I believe I will be happier without the pressure of making a living off of it. Now it can be something I love to do for myself and for you. I am ready for the next adventure, and at 23 years old I don't even think the sky is the limit.

I would be nowhere without the support and love from each and every one of you. Thank You, Arigato, Salamat, Gracias and Mahalo my family. This may be the close of a chapter but it is not the end of me. Stay tuned for what's next. I love all your cute little faces, forever.

Found this photo on Pinterest right in the thick of my dilemma. How serendipitous.

Woke up this morning with rainbows shining through my windows!!! The Supreme Court has ruled in favor of same-sex marriage in the sunshine state and I couldn't be more gay (in the "happy" sense).

We are so much closer to becoming the true "Land of the Free." I am SO happy to be on the right side of history and I've never been more proud to be a Californian.

I urge those of you who are still pro-DOMA to stand back and truly evaluate what it is that you are fighting against. You're blatantly opposing LOVE! You are going out of your way to shoot down happiness for thousands of Americans. All the LGBT community is asking for is respect and tolerance. We are a civil enough country for that, aren't we?

Hey DOMA... Sashay Away!

Although today is a monumental day for us in California and for the 5 other states who practice equality, it is still only the beginning for us as a country. The tides are changing though and I have faith that we will all soon live in a hate-free America.

So raise your voices. Love all. And most importantly, send me some damn wedding invites!

Now, I'm off to celebrate. West Hollywood here I come... And I'm bringing the bacon.


It's incredible how much one bad week can affect a person. Even just one out-of-the-ordinary, malfunctioning 24hours can be the "bitch that kills your vibe."

I pride myself on being the 'Glass is Half Full' chick. I try and keep my spirits and the spirits of the people around me on a positive note. It's not difficult for me to brush off petty things. I don't need constant reassurance from my friendships nor do I feel the need to compare myself to others. I don't concentrate on my flaws or obsess over them. And I certainly don't break into random cry sessions in my car. These just aren't traits found in me..... I thought.

So why now? What is so different this week? When did my glass become half-empty??

Been laying in my room this past hour contemplating this. Then, mid-pity party it dawned on me. My big 'aha' moment.

Ready for this.....?

P. M. S.

.... Ugh. It's no joke. To all my females suffering from this right now, my condolences. And to everyone else suffering from the effects of someone else's visit from Mother Nature, my deeper condolences.



Hey friends and fam! Reporting live from the Cardiac floor of Mission Hospital! Just wanted to fill you all in on what's going on with me and this body of mine. 

Let's go back to Wednesday of last week (5-22-2013). I attended my personal training session as usual, focusing mainly on my upper body. There was an abundance of pull-ups (or pull-up attempts to be more accurate) and other arm workouts throughout the hour workout. Almost immediately following I attended a power yoga class for another hour. This was all my typical routine. I got home shortly after that and joined my mother in a 30-minute Jillian Michaels workout DVD. Three workouts in one day, one after the other. Go ahead and say it.... IDIOT!! 

I have never attempted so much physical strain in one day and I definitely should have known better. 

Soooo, moving on. I ended the rest of the week as I normally would. Small workout Thursday and then another personal training session on Friday, this time focusing on my lower body. 

That afternoon came around and I left for Dana Point with family for  a nice beach getaway for the holiday weekend. Both Friday and Saturday I experienced soreness in both arms and I couldn't really straighten either of them fully. I was more irritated than anything, being that I've experienced similar side effects numerous times in the past. I managed a couple bike rides and some beach football and soccer with the family. I also went out to the bar Saturday night and had a few drinks with my brother.

Sunday morning I woke up with the same side effects but with the added exception of swelling at the biceps and below both elbows. To put it into perspective, I looked and felt like Popeye, my family was calling me George Taylor and I could have easily gotten away with being Lou Farrigno's daughter. 

It was NOT cute!

It alarmed me enough to avoid alcohol and any strenuous activity for the day. I made a point to drink plenty of water while we were out in the sun and I took a couple ibuprofen in hopes to alleviate some of the embarrassing swelling. 

That night when I returned to the condo I realized that the swelling had not gone down and had actually gotten a bit worse. So, it was off to the ER for what I expected to be a " you'll live, take two of these and call us in the morning" type of visit. 

Fortunately, my brother works at Mission Hospital so I got the VIP Queen of England treatment. I was ushered into a room right away where I was administered a urine test and a blood test. The blood test revealed that I had developed a condition called Rhabdomyolysis.

Quick lesson on that mouthful of a diagnosis. Rhabdo is a condition in which there is a rapid breakdown of muscle tissue. The breakdown from the damaged muscle cells finds its way into the bloodstream causing a mess of symptoms and ultimately affects the kidney with the possibility of kidney failure. Yeah...Shits serious.

The normal count for Creatine Kinase (a kidney enzyme) is typically under 300. My level was measured initially at 33,000!! That number put me in the 'severe rhabdomyolysis' group!

Soooo, they admitted me into the hospital and started me on a steady IV drip of Sodium Bicarb. 

The sodium bicarb's  job is to buffer out the acidic levels in the breakdown and basically take away some of the kidneys responsibilities. 

Spent my first night ever in a hospital in a shared room watching Fresh Prince with no sound and a slowly dying cellphone battery. Surprisingly, I didn't feel sick AT ALL. In fact, I was sort of excited to be there (weird, I know). I was awoken at 5am, after a somewhat sleepless night, to a soft spoken nurse telling me I was being transferred to the Cardiac ICU due to a drop in my heart rate overnight. At some point my pulse was at a low 38. 

I was taken atop my bed to the Cardiac floor. Am I the only one that feels like a pretentious weirdo being wheeled around a hospital when I have perfectly functioning legs to walk on??? It's awkward. Anyway, met my wonderful nurse Chau in my new ICU room. She hooked me up with some not-too-terrible food and aided me in unhooking myself from the monitors like 97 times to pee from all of the liquids being forced through the IV and into my veins. Had my blood drawn a few times and had to endure the most painful shot ever in my tummy to prevent blood clotting!!! If you know me, you know I hate needles with the passion of the Christ. Not exactly how I planned to spend my Memorial Day but I digress. 

That night I was wheeled (awkwardly, again) out of ICU and into my big private room, with a view!!! I had a new day nurse, Wendi, who is just the cutest thing! She delivered the new lab results which revealed that I had gone from a CK count of 33,000 to 17,000. The docs were pleased with the improvement and left me with my night nurse Craig, and his super cool Hawaiian print scrubs, to enjoy more Fresh Prince in peace and this time with sound. (Sidenote: adopt me Will Smith) 

Woke up Tuesday morning to some more blood tests and a yummy platter of fresh fruit and cottage cheese! Walked around my floor with my little IV stand and hospital gown and noticed I was at least 40 years younger than any other patient on my floor. Win. 

TuesdayI had a surprise visit from my precious little grandpa and my cousin tay! 

A little later a fun little visit from my babe Joee and his new little love. It's crazy what a little gossip time can do for a girl on hospital rest! Thanks for coming guys! Love you! Thanks also to those of you that supplied my room with pretty flowers and cute Teddy's. It truly helped! 

Anyways, that evening Dr. Finlayson came in and said " you've had a miraculous drop in your CK level. From 17,000 yesterday to 1,800 today! If you continue to improve through the night we can have you out of here tomorrow... And also you're the coolest person on the planet" his exact words... 😬. They lowered my IV dosage and gave me one more terrible tummy shot and then it was bedtime.

Woke up this morning with less than pleasing news, however! My heart rate dropped again during the night and my CK level spiked back up. Turns out my body is still producing the creatine and my kidneys still can't get rid of the breakdown without the IV. Docs are monitoring my heart and kidneys closely.

Sooo, looks like I'm stuck in here for a bit longer. Still feeling completely normal, no pain, no nausea, no confusion (out of the ordinary). It's almost hard to take this all seriously when I don't feel ill in any way! I'm thankful for that and I'm beyond thankful for the abundance of texts, calls, prayers and positivity I've received. It's so good to know I have incredible people in my life. 

I also want to extend my newfound respect for those of you that have to be in a hospital regularly. What I've experienced has been NOTHING compared to what you guys go through. I would spend much longer in here if it meant it would take away some of the pain you guys endure. Feel free to call on me when you need ANYTHING.

Finally, just want to reiterate my main goal of this post. It's so important to know your limits and listen to your body. Don't let my experience discourage you from working on your health and fitness. Just remember that too much of anything has its repercussions. I've definitely learned my lesson! 

I love you all and ill keep you posted on any changes!!! 


Hey there, little interweb explorer

Ooooh. Did someone just decide to dip their toes into the world of blogging?? Why yes, yes I did. I figure I might as well pour out some of my minds random thoughts and my life's wild experiences for you all to read, dissect, connect-with or flat out judge. Whatever the case, it will be nice for me to have an avenue to release it all. Like myself, this blog has no set direction. It's going to be all over the place and if you can handle that then... Welcome :)